So Matt, you might ask, how has the league gone so far? You've held such high expectations and were so excited for it, surely you were let down, right? No one probably cares about the league, and it's not that fun, right? WRONG. SHUT UP NAYSAYERS AND LIONS SYMPATHIZERS AND JAY CUTLER AND BRETT FAVRE AND PACKERS HATERS. The league has actually been great so far, and I think the other owners would agree. It might be the most entertaining league I've been in. Lots of fun "smack talk" as Yahoo coins it, lots of comments on games, everyone's into their teams for the most part. The league even has a lot of parity, similar to the real NFL (suck it, college football), with the third-best team so far (me) actually being only 2-2. 6 of the 10 teams are 2-2 right now, which is crazy. By contrast, my Brown keeper league (dead as a doornail) doesn't have a 2-2 team until the 6th of 12 teams.
I also believe the league has a higher IQ than the average league. I don't really have specific proof of this, no, but I'll use an example from our draft. One of the fantasy greats from years past, LaDainian Tomlinson, has been on the decline last year, especially last year when he finally turned in a performance no longer worthy of a top-3 pick. This year during the summer, as people began to convince themselves more and more, sportswriters started to talk about LDT getting stronger, healthier, healing from the past, being as driven as ever, and how the Chargers were going to run the ball more this year. People started putting him in the range of #3 overall through #7 overall. Our league? #13 overall. Thankfully, I resisted his allure and went for the younger Chris Johnson and a WR. Harriet took homeboy, which wasn't a bad pick at the time, although it hasn't worked out. All the prognosticators forgot a couple things: LDT's getting old. OK that's one thing, but that matters the most. Old running backs can't escape Father Time. It happened to Shaun Alexander (believe me, I've made that mistake), Marshall Faulk, Edge, other guys. It's happening, sadly, to Portis (this year he'll decline, next year he'll probably stink). So what does this story mean? Our league is genius! By contrast for example, this random league I'm in because of my Kolkata teammate had a guy drop Wes Welker last week. Wes Welker! He's only been injured for a few weeks, that's all. So I picked him up off the waiver wire. Now I'm playing the guy who dropped him this week, and I'm starting Welker against him. Awesomeness.
Also, the league has enjoyed some fun with its divisions. Although Molly has criticized it (biggest shocker since it turned out Anakin would turn evil in Revenge of the Sith), I think people have had fun with it. It's been cool to see which division is doing better (so far the NFC side might be winning) and to just have that extra wrinkle. After 4 weeks, the intra-division record has been 2-2, so I play Mark this week to uneven that out. It's on!
Anyway, I thought the best way to organize thoughts might be through power rankings of our 10 teams. Note that I am completely aware of the weird position I am in, ranking a league of people who I am competing against every week. Awkward? Yes. But suck it, team owners! With another nod to Bill Simmons, here are rankings, with tiers and all.
The Jerry Hopkins Division
10. Flaming Romophobes - Khadir (Record: 0-4, 342.10 pts, Division record 0-3). Important players include: Romo, Favre, A. Johnson, Driver, Manningham, H. Ward, Evans, Forte, Barber, J. Stewart, Witten
3 years ago, in my first attempt to start a league for folks from Rice, I was having trouble finding 10 teams. I took a flyer on Jerry Hopkins, who I knew was a big Pats fan. Turns out that was the only football he really knew. Jerry was inattentive all year, not updating his team paying any attention. Then, in a week when Khadir needed a win to make the playoffs, Jerry came out of nowhere with an upset! It was like when those Pac-10 teams knock USC out of the national championship picture. So, it seems appropriate that if Khadir has the worst team of the year so far, we would pay homage to the one, the only, Jerry Hopkins.
Khadir's team gets the last place of this poll on default with his 0-4 record thus far. Also at the current rate, it might be fair to say that his team isn't in the best position. The Romophobes are filled with Cowboys, which has been a problem with the Cowboys not playing so well so far (Khadir's team was in a similar scenario 3 years ago, but that was a much better team too). It's one thing that the team has Romo, Witten, and Barber, but also has been using the Cowboys kicker and defense. Overload! Overload! If this dependence on the Cowboys continues, the Romophobes might fall flatter than Romo in that playoff game against the Seahawks where he fumbled the snap for the winning field goal.
9. Hamstars - Molly (Record: 1-3, 310.98 pts, Division 1-2). Important players include: Adrian Peterson, oops, I mean, Michael Turner, Palmer, Wayne, Welker, Braylon Edwards lol, Portis, Sproles, Hasselbeck, Winslow, Celek
Oh man, I really wanted to give Molly the 10 spot, and he might deserve it, especially because he has the lowest amount of points in the league (about 30 less than Khadir actually), but Khadir does have no wins, and Molly has 1. Ugh. I hate Molly. Did I mention Molly sucks?
It's alright, either way, Molly's in the Jerry Hopkins realm. Cursed for thinking he was clever in picking Michael "I had a lucky season last year with a weak schedule and overuse" Turner, Molly has earned himself an underachieving #1 pick instead of Adrian Peterson, along with curses of injuries of Welker, Portis' old age, and Braylon Edwards being, well, Braylon Edwards. Daniel also continues to have one of the two worst team names of the league. Molly is also holding onto Reggie "There are 3 RBs on this team that would perform well at Fantasy Football before I did" Bush, which is unfortunate.
Finally, it's very important to note that Molly's team icon is currently bordering...nay, way past the verge of creepy as hell. It's an Asian baby crying, with its eyes closed (or is that just supposed to be Liang?) , with a milk bottle, and what appears to be two lollipops behind it. Creepy. Just... creepy.
Bill Simmons Division
8. DoubleDsOnThatBitch - Harriet (Overall Record: 2-2, 358 pts, Division 2-1). Important players: Eli, McNabb, Jennings, Marshall, Holmes, LDT, Westbrook, Cadillac, Tony Gonzalez
So far I've really just followed the order of the standings, and that's kinda how most of these rankings go. It's hard to avoid the standings at this point. But I'm trying to rank the teams based on likelihood of making the playoffs too. We reach the first of 6 teams now that are 2-2 and range from 3rd-8th place in the standings. The DoubleDs bring a great name, but the current reigning champ ain't sitting pretty. Draft disappointments include Slow Willie Parker, LenDale "Tequila was my secret weapon what was i thinking" White, and a somewhat high Pittsburgh defense draft pick. McNabb got injured, Brandon Marshall hasn't reached his potential just yet (if he does), Santonio Holmes hasn't shown much since the first week. The DoubleDs first two picks are also part of the "Old as F" club, with Westbrook showing injuries and LDT showing, well, injuries. Wow that analysis sounded really down. Basically, this team needs some better games after posting 3 games of sub-90-point results.
7. Boston Lemon Party - Peck (2-2, 369.60, Division 1-2). Important players: Warner, Housz, Steve Smith (Car), Peterson, Benson, Frank Gore, Choice, O. Daniels
At first I was gonna put Alex's team here, I think because of all of his complaining and negativity about his team, but I continue the trend of keeping the teams where they oughtta be compared to standings. What do I like about the Lemon Party, other than the name? The strong point is clearly the running game. Peterson obviously, and at a discount with the #2 pick (seriously Molly, what were you thinking!), Gore, who's incredible but sometimes injured and he doesn't have Coffee, and Cedric "Hey look what I can do" Benson. A three-headed monster there. Almost like a lemon party...
Otherwise, Warner still scares me 'cause he's in the same club with LDT and Westbrook, and the WRs have not shown up so far. Also, the team started off great, but the last 2 weeks have been real clunkers, with sub-70-point results. Not a great trend. He started off high but went down real quickly. Almost like a lemon party...
6. McNairInTheShotgun - Alex (2-2, 372.14, Division 1-2). Important players: Brees, Ochocinco, Roddy White, Knox, F. Jackson, Slaton, K Smith, Julius Jones, Cutler, Mendenhall, Carlson
Why is this the Bill Simmons division? Bill Simmons has been complaining recently about not enjoying Fantasy Football and maybe quitting next year. He mentioned it in his column last Friday and talked about it in his weekly podcast with Cousin Sal about NFL stuff. Alex said he agreed with him. To that, I say "Hogwash!". Both Bill and Alex are just complaining because they've been losing and are whining like a bunch of babies. Simmons mentions how he doesn't enjoy rooting for Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin to get however many points in the Monday night game so his team wins, and then be let down. Who cares? Maybe you're let down. It's Fantasy Football. You just take the loss in stride. Besides, if Simmons was doing decent in his leagues he wouldn't be complaining. Don't be a baby! It's a fun game with friends. It's an added angle on the NFL season. A win-win.
Anyway, Alex has been suffering the curse of McNair's ghostly wrath, which is a dilemma because it's such an awesome team name that you can't pick a better one. Alex's WRs are super weak, and his team is likely to have a trade before the week's end, whether with me or someone else. Roddy White has been incredibly disappointing, with Tony G hopping into bed with Matt Ryan faster than you can say Mohamed Massoquoi. Thus, his WRs are pretty lame. Brees has been great. The RBs are plentiful although not necessarily super-exciting. Slaton and K Smith are not the stars so far that one might have hoped they would be, the so-far-awesome Fred Jackson is facing the threat of a timeshare, yeah. Still, it's a plethora that can turn into some trades if Alex is smarter than JP Ricciardi. Or not as stubborn. Ricciardi, you were an idiot! Seriously, no Halladay trade? Really?
Champ BaileyDivision
I don't really have a good name for this division, so I just went with Champ Bailey. He was one of my favorite Skins before being traded, and I still wish we hadn't made that trade just because I was such a fan of Champ. One of the best corners of the decade, and he reminded us of his Redskins past this week with his pwnage of Romo. Nice. So I don't mind randomly paying homage to him here.
5. el luchador - Jaimin (2-2, 392.92, Div. 2-1). Important players include: Rodgers, Santana Moss, Boldin, A. Bryant, Jones-Drew, T. Jones, Hightower, Cooley
Ugh. I'm still following the overall standings placements. How unoriginal. Sorry, that's the way it is. I tried to consider putting Jaimin in front of Ferras, but couldn't do it. Jaimin's team started off 0-2, although it did well in Week 1 and got rocked by a high-scoring opponent. Jaimin put the stops on me in Week 3 though, taking away my 2nd highest point total of the league that week with his highest point total of the league. Great, thanks Jaimin.
Jaimin's team, before we get to his strengths, has two key weaknesses. 1. His team name, super lame. The Wrestler in Spanish? Wow awesome. Too bad this isn't Fantasy Wrestling, which I guess is what happens in Jaimin's dreams every night when he fantasizes about getting pile-drived by The Rock. 2. Jaimin's icon is as weird as Molly's (both have crappy names and icons!). He's supposed to be some wrestler guy, but it just looks like he's the gimp from Pulp Fiction (consequently, during Week 3 he made me feel like Marcellus Wallace in that one scene. Sigh.). Also, Jaimin doesn't have the greatest bench depth, and Boldin and Bryant haven't been the impressive WRs one might have hoped considering their draft positions.
Still, Jaimin's team is getting hot, and he has some blue chippers like Rodgers and Jones-Drew. Nasty stuff. He also finally broke out of his smack talk shell this week, saying "let's tango peckers". Feisty.
4. Ginn and Juice - Ferras (2-2, 403.14, Div 1-2). Important players: Peyton Manning, Roy Williams, S. Smith (NYG), Fitzgerald, Jacobs, R Brown, Shockey, Big Ben, wildcard Lynch, Buckhalter
Ferras' team, despite the terrible fallacy of having a team namesake after a player he no longer has, is getting hot. His team has improved in points every week for 4 weeks. At this rate, he'll win the championship in Week 16 with 300 points total! Yowza!
Ferras has reminded us this year that he is as good of a contender as he was two years ago. Another reminder why last year never happened. His starting lineup looks really strong right now, with Peyton "hey you might not be excited by me but I'll always bring it in fantasy" Manning, Steve Smith, who Ferras actually drafted, dropped, and picked back up, and Ronnie Brown (I had Ronnie the last two years in different leagues. One year he gets injured for the rest of the season, another he explodes for 5 tds one game that I didn't start him and only disappoints for the rest of the season. Needless to say, I hate Ronnie Brown and his family). Roy Williams might not be a great WR3, but he could get better over time. And I still don't think Fitz will earn his #1 overall WR status this year since Boldin isn't gonna get his face jacked up this year. It looks like his bench might not be too strong, but I don't even know anymore. I'm getting tired. I'm moving on to the next team.
3. The Long Johnsons - me (2-2, 451.2, Div 2-2). Important players include: Schaub, Flacco, Calvin Johnson, DeSean Jackson, Colston, Chris Johnson, Pierre Thomas, Ray Rice, Dallas Clark, Garcon, D Brown
I'm not gonna lie, I love my team. I really like my potential and think it's a great team. Still, I'm only 2-2, and I'm two games back in my division, so I won't rate my team any higher than its overall standing position. And I've been beaten by one of the two teams ahead of me. Plus, I don't like the potential karma if I rate myself higher. That being said, I would note that I have the highest point total in the league, 29 points higher than the next guy. Byah!
After a Week 1 major stinker, starting the season off in last place, my team has been bringing it. In Week 2, I had a massacre of a lineup, beating down Khadir's high 100+ points with about 170 points from the Johnsons. Highlights included a WTF week from Chris Johnson with 3tds and 46 pts, about 20 points each from Colston and DeSean, 24 from Dallas Clark, and I didn't even start Schaub over Flacco (a difference of about 20 points). OH YEAH! Of course, the next week, as I mentioned before, I lost to Gimpy with the 2nd highest score in the week. Sigh. I wish I were 3-1. Then this past week, the team performed decent enough.
My weakest point is probably my QBs, since Flacco and Schaub are good and have potential, but they're not as good as the Manning/Brees tier yet. I'm very excited to have Pierre Thomas back, and Dallas Clark has been great. Feel great about my 3 main WRs, especially DeSean's emergence, and hopefully RB Chris Johnson will continue awesomeness. I despise Willis McGahee though, for crippling Ray Rice's potential. This week's game against Mark will be crucial. If I lose, despite my point total so far, I'll be sub-.500. Hopefully that won't happen! But we shall see. We shall see. One final note about my team, I'm hopeful about my now-sleeper Mohamed Massaquoi of the Browns. Sure it might not amount to anything, but with Braylon Edwards traded away, maybe he'll break out! Otherwise, I gave up Beanie Wells' spot for him, so I don't feel so bad about it.
Matthew Berry Division
Matthew Berry's a popular Fantasy Football writer who is pretty enjoyable to read, so I figured I'll pay homage to him here.
2. Slumdoggy Style - Faheem (4-0, 422.9, Div 3-0). Important players: Rivers, Randy Moss, Cotchery, Berrian, Bowe, Steven Jackson, McGahee, Moreno, Gates
1. Hughes Black Cox - Mark (3-1, 404.52, Div 3-0). Important players: Brady, Ryan, V Jackson, Mason, Walter, Sims-Walker, Harvin, DeAngelo, Grant, Coffee, Olsen
Oh no he didn't! I have finally decided to switch teams from their overall standings, and on the top 2 at that! Let the controversy begin. This is more absurd than the BCS every year! But seriously, I weighed the two teams and decided that I would rather take Mark's team at the current moment. Also, who knows, maybe giving Mark the #1 spot will jinx him, and I'll beat him this week. That would be cool.
Why do I prefer Hughes Black Cox over Slumdoggy Style? Can you read that sentence out loud while keeping a straight face?
I didn't think so.
Faheem's team does have the 2nd most points, but his perfect record can also be attributed to his opponents so far; his opponents have averaged only about 70 pts, and a lot of his points came last week, with a skewed point total from the San Fran D. Not to say his team's bad, especially being two games ahead of the division, but I just like Mark's team more. Slumdoggy's WR3 is a little weak, with Bowe disappointing so far, and I'm not buying the stock on McGahee's continued success (partly because I want him to suck so that Rice is better, partly because I just don't see him sustaining the TD success so well over the long run).
Despite Mark's absurd pick of Matt Ryan in Round 3, which I still can't defend, and I think that if he hadn't made it, his team would be better, his team is quite good. His WR depth is strong, with the gem of Vincent Jackson, the surprising Sims-Walker (hey, give some catches to JD why don't ya!), the young Harvin, and the old as f Mason. DeAngelo hasn't been worthy of his Round 1 pick yet, but Mark fortunately has Glen Coffee (hey Peck, I bet you wish you had Coffee) right now, and Ryan Grant is solid. His weak point is TE (shoulda drafted Cooley!). At 3-1, he's also top dog of the AFC Panty-Wearing Pansies, and he's currently top dog of these rankings. For now. W'll see again in 4 weeks. Dum dum dum!...
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OK, so that's that. What a long entry! Consider it making up for my lack of entries recently. In the next few weeks, I hope to have entries on new TV shows this season that I've been trying out, maybe some thoughts on the Oscars, maybe some thoughts on Korea, and thoughts on why baseball sucks. Who knows! I'll be giving RFC Beast updates every 4 weeks, ending after Week 16 with a season recap. I actually might do one after Week 14, a playoff preview, if I feel like it. Hopefully I'll be in the playoffs at that point. Until next time, Youn out!
